February 15

Masha broke her leg a while back.  Not badly, but since this is our fourth trip and we know the city pretty well, she did her legwork via telephone.  Also she had her grade-school friend Nina, who is also an adoption facilitator in Kyiv and has stronger legs, meet us for the SDA appointment.  While waiting…

Nina:    We will arrange for a taxi to take you to the train tomorrow.  Do you have a lot of luggage?

Pam:     Well, …

Andy:   It’s not all ours, really.  There are gifts we were supposed …

Nina:    So I should order a bus.

These meetings are normally used to show prospective parents several files of available children whose broad criteria match those specified on the home study.  Since we had pre-specified Valya, this meeting was of course much quicker.

Potentially scary person:  Дуже приемно.  Моя ім'я Диана.

Us:       Дуже приемно.  Моя ім'я Пем / Анди.

Diana:   Your Ukrainian is worse than my English.  For the purposes of this blog, let’s talk in English.  May I see your passports?  Thank you.  [Subtext: So … You are not Joe the Plumber and wife.  Your mugs match the dossier.]

Diana:   Please tell me why you would like to adopt again.

Us:       Excuse me while we whip out our snappy Snapfish photo book, which has 32 pictures x 1000 words worth per picture and will tell you quickly how awesome it has been to have Sasha and Jonathan part of our family and also shows Valya and us arm in arm in 2009.

Diana:   [Smile.  More smile.  Big big smile.  Smile that says I love families.  This looks fun.]

Us:       [Blathering on and on about our kids.]

Diana:   You have two daughters?  Tell me why you would like to adopt another.

Us:       We are both from big families of 5 children.

Diana:   Good enough for me!  You can get your referral. 

Valya is 16, going on 17, and that age would normally be too late (what’s the title of this blog?) for a U.S. adoption, if it weren’t for the 1-year extension cord afforded when the family has already adopted siblingsettaketwo.blogspot.com.  The not-so-scary Diana, wanting to be assured about this exception, asked us to get a letter from our consulate attesting to this all.  Masha called them to let them know exactly what was required, and we went to a crappy museum.

Really. 

I mean, Kyiv is an amazing city.  Adrienne is on record saying, "I want to have my honeymoon here."  But we've seen the top 10.  And we've had our fun trying to figure out what movies are showing.  Here, you try.  Double-click to zoom in on the actors' names.  Hint:  Learn the Ukrainian alphabet and decode.

So since Scholastic is always looking for new authors and material for their Captain Underpants series, we went, so to speak.  It was a one-roomer, tucked tastefully inside an upscale fixtures store. 

The host took her job quite seriously, and shared details of d'equipment de derrier from the time of the Egyptians, through castle sewage systems, all the way to the modern Toto.  After two hours of potty talk we had to go again.

Our letter wasn't quite ready at the U.S. Consulate, and because of security rules, we were not allowed to wait inside, so we went to the nearby Chokoladnitsa, which is like a Willy Wonka factory outlet, and indulged.

After receiving and delivering the letter to the SDA, we looked more carefully at the statue pictured below.  Olga's husband, an artist, worked on it.  It was made for a famous movie filmed in Kyiv.  Something about "he who chases two rabbits catches neither."  Note the creepy thing on his back, and the flower, which he must be keeping for the other girl.   Such bronze duplicity.

Nina:    Tomorrow we will have the cab driver help you find your train wagon.

Us:       That's okay, we have taken the train many times …

Nina:    No, he will hold your hand to make sure.  Then I will be rid of you.

We skibbled and slid downhill towards home-away-from-home and followed a different route for fun.  Found an intensely colorful art gallery to warm up in.

Where to eat? Domino's (30 minutes or less, even if the cars are triple parked and they have to take to the steps!)?

 

We "accidentally" ended up at Shekavitsya, which Irina said later is where the Mafia meet to munch.  Ukrainian traditional clothing, serenading musicians, and tasty chicken and nuts covered in the spinach sauce.  Not to be confused with our 2009 entry to the "Engrish Funny" collection, "Chicken's Things Fried in the Beer Sauce."  If you have time and a strong stomach, read the link comments.

Since this blog entry may be the last one you'll ever want to read, let me finish on offense: The men’s bathroom had a lifesize horse’s rear, real towels, and one side of each stall (which itself was a room), was all mirror.  As if we wanted to see that.  The end.



February 12-14

Confession: Two years ago, when we were lying through our adoption blog teeth in www.siblingsettaketwo.blogspot.com, we in fact had met our dear Valentina, for whom Valentine’s Day is named.  There is a very true cool back story.  Some day we’ll share.

February 12-14 , 2011

Time to fly.  Adrienne, our 18-year old, who gave up her bedroom for a new sister, packed some love in a brown paper bag and pushed us out.  I made her sign an accountability contract:  “Adrienne can do anything she likes.”

Are your pets prescient?  Nienke knew Pam was parting for 6 weeks, so decided to go on a hunger strike. Out of pity, we hand fed her one last time and let her go along to the airport to kiss us goodbye, right along side the rest of the fam. 

As if small town America was escorting us out of the country, we shared the first hop with Sharon Katt, another Lincoln Lutheran drama mom.  Did you know she’s an Assessment Ogre like me?  Once at O'Hare, we tuned our antennae to all things international. Chicago newspapers blared, in fine print: “Mubarak Resigns, Military Rule.”  Much bigger headline: “Boy Accused of Killing Fish.”  If you like the second better, you may keep reading.

We did not get bumped off to Privat Air, our preferred luxury Lufthansa airline.  No duck, no champagne, and certainly no individual entertainment screens.  The one monitor 200 feet away we could see had a greenish tint along one side.  That’s okay, except when Rachel McAdams is trying to be all foxy and romantic on the left side, and Mr. Tums Commercial on the right looks like he’s going to nauseate.

If your flight is long enough, even cooked spinach tastes good.

A Burma shave later, we taxied up to Christ Church in Kyiv, left our luggage in the side room, and crept in just after the confession (which we will need after all these exaggerations).  Our dear friend Olga, who spent a week with Pam in eastern Ukraine during Round I of SiblingSetTakeTwo, was overwhelmed to see us, and we spent the evening with her.  After the service, we joined her for a Bible study.  Wow.  Christians from Russia, Ukraine, China, India, America, and Narnia all delved in, mostly in Russian, sometimes in Hebrew, and occasionally slipping into English for our sake.

We are staying with Sergei and Irina Timchenko, duplex-like neighbors of Orest and Susan, who hosted us during our last adoption stays in Kyiv, and have since moved back to Indiana.  Now we know how the other half lives.  As the Timchenkos’ four children have grown, they now have a B&B.  It sure is heart-warming to have Christian friends meet you and share in your joy when you are so far from home. 

Sasha and Jonathan emailed us: “Dear Dad, we are watching a lot of TV, and there is nothing you can do about it. Love, Sasha.”  Jill and Brady Johnson volunteered to keep them until next year when we hope to be done.  They have 44 kids 10 and under, so what’re 2 more?

What does one do on Valentine’s Day in Ukraine?  Nothing.  What do two do?  Lots. 

Go to a destination B&B, practice your international love language skills, sleep in, and chat ‘til noon with the hostess, of course.  Far more fun than FB.  Flip phone SIM chips.  I’ll tell you our new number later, after Valentine’s Day.  Venture forth to a hole-in-a-Soviet-built-crumbling-wall translator shop, where Andrei keeps a troupe of well-educated college students employed.  We carried a letter inquiring about the adoptability status of another girl. 

(awkward paragraph break) No, Lynn, we are not coming home with two.  This is on behalf of friends.  Wander through the city parks, past the President’s Palace.  Take cheesy photos overlooking the Dnipro River.  Check out the real Locks of Love on the bridge joining Marinsky and Kreshchatik Parks, testifying to the strength of steel and romantic love.  Make goo-goo eyes at a nice restaurant.  Fall asleep blogging about it all.